What’s So Hard About Concrete?

I’m a flirty, vivacious, enthusiastic student. I love to study, attend lecture and pass my time at the library. In my free time I work and participate in extra curriculars. I’m a great student!

Compare that paragraph with the following.

In four years of college, I have taken 36 classes and only recieved one grade that wasn’t an A. I spend 20 hours each week at the library where I read, research, write papers and do other assigned homework. When I’m not in lecture or at the library I mentor children through the Boys & Girls Club as well as volunteering at the Food for Lane County, four days each week.

After reading the first paragraph, did you believe that I was a good student? Maybe you took my word for it. After reading the second paragraph, how did you feel about me? You probably believed beyond a doubt that I am a good student. The difference? Concrete language and details.

This is a tool that I learned from Made to Stick, a book by Chip and Dan Heath. I have been studying this book in order to advance my writing skills. So far it has proven extremely valuable. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to improve their writing.